PDSYLM – Final Chapter

Adeline’s P.O.V.

I looked towards my brother. My heart was beating so fast that it began to hurt, so with the few hours of life I had left in me I smiled. I pulled Xavier into the hallway and sat him down on the couch.

“I need you to listen to me very carefully, okay.” I said. He nodded, his eyes discerned.

And then I began…

“I have been lying to you for a long time. In short I am very sick and there’s no return for me. With the way I’m feeling I know my lifespan is down to a few hours. Please don’t hate me and please don’t say you love me. In the short life I lived, I felt everything I needed to feel, I did everything I wanted to do and I made sure I was in control. I didn’t get to decide when I came into this world but I want to decide when I leave. You have a beautiful gift coming your way and my death shouldn’t intervene with it. I’m happy, so happy and I need my going to be a time of happiness not sorrow.” I said.

Xavier’s eyes welled with tears and he held my hand, bringing it to his heart. He simply nodded and wrapped me in a tight embrace. Soon the kids came running in with brownie batter on them and Amelia followed shortly after.

Hours later we were all by the T.V. when I felt uneasy. I began coughing, Xavier gave me a napkin and within seconds it was filled with blood. Amelia sent the kids upstairs, but I stopped them,

it was time.

I embraced them so tight that they began laughing, I held the feeling of them in my heart and their image in my eyes before I let them go.

Xavier grabbed the phone and I stopped him,

“it’s time”, I croaked.

Then to my luck it started to rain.

I wrapped them in my arms and cried- so loud I couldn’t hear the rain hitting the concrete outside. I placed a kiss on Amelia’s stomach,

“Thank you”, I whispered.

Xavier looked towards Amelia who managed a smile. They both hugged and I slipped away.

I ran outside into the rain.

I kept running, unaware of how much time had passed.

Until I stopped in front of a car that was speeding my way and to my luck, out of the car stepped Rome.


Rome’s P.O.V

After hours of searching I found where she would most likely be.

To my surprise the rain kept pouring as I drove, the windows of my car were hard to see out of.

I jumped on the brake when I saw her. She was running down the street, soaked in the rain.

I stepped out and walked towards her.

We just stood there, unaware of time, place or the pounding rain that drenched us. She smiled a wide and toothy smile as she fell to the ground.

“Adeline” I yelled.

I caught her and we fell to the ground, her head on my lap.

‘Promise me something” She whispered.

“Don’t change, don’t go back to the dark. Stay in the light” She said.

“Adeline, I…” I began.

“Shush, please don’t say it, don’t say you love me” She whispered.

“But I do. You’re responsible for this change which means you have to stay through it.” I said.

‘Thank you for giving me some of the most beautiful moments of my life, but I have to go now” She mustered, her eyes closing.

“No, no, no” I wept, yelling and screaming for someone to do something.

“… goodbye Rome” She whispered, placing her hand on my cheek.

Just like that her chest stopped rising. The rain began to pour louder. I moved my head to look at her one last time and placed a kiss on her forehead as I cried.


Minutes later a car stopped in front of us, and out stepped a man and woman.


6 Months Later

“Then there were five” said Roman as he walked into the hospital room.

There sat Xavier, Amelia and their three children. Amelia held their newborn baby girl, who was absolutely stunning, big brown eyes and a wide smile that made her eyes crinkle.

Roman walked in with flowers and the kids ran up to him, giving him a big hug.

Amelia nodded Roman over.

She placed her baby girl in his arms.

Roman stared at the sleeping baby,

“Her name is Adeline” Amelia said.

Roman looked up and smiled, a small tear escaping his eyes. After Adeline’s death they all found it hard to move on, but with one another they were all okay. Roman became great friends with Xavier- just as Adeline thought they would- and now Roman visits regularly and the kids love him dearly.

Roman looked down at the baby again and whispered “Adeline”, and he swears he saw her smile in her sleep.

Hours later Roman was driving home when he stopped at the street he had lost himself 6 months earlier. He pulled out his wallet and there sat a photo of Adeline. He had sneakily taken a photo of her at work. She was wearing a gorgeous grey dress and her hair was curled. She was laughing on the phone and that’s when Roman took the picture.

He held the picture in his hand and a few tears slipped down his eyes. When his family heard the news, they were all distraught. Adeline was so special, is so special and the magic she spread died with her.

He kissed her photo and closed his eyes.

“I regained my sight, but after seeing you there’s nothing else worth seeing. I miss you.” He said as he smiled picturing her smile back in his head.



PDSYLM- Chapter 22

Adeline’s P.O.V

I broke. My shattered eyes looked towards my brother- unprepared to tell him the truth. I let the tears slip away. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that this was the way to do it.

“I just missed home, that’s all” I whispered.

He looked at me, scanning every detail of my face.

I faked a bright smile and hugged my niece and nephew, letting their giggling voices fill my heart- possibly for the last time. I sunk into their embrace, their little arms squeezed me tightly.

“Okay kiddos who’s ready for some brownies?” I asked in attempt to lighten the mood.

Their eyes shone and they ran towards the kitchen to grab their little aprons and chef hats.

“And we’ll have some celery snacks too” said Amara, as she followed then into the kitchen.

They whined in chorus.

My eyes watched my family move. I hate to admit this but I envied this life. No matter how many times I said that my career was my life ,there was always this little voice inside that wanted to be wrapped in my husbands embrace on a lazy Sunday morning. I would snuggle into his shoulder and laugh as our kids fought next door. We would reluctantly get out of bed and surprise the kids. They’d yell and begin giggling. We would all run downstairs and make breakfast, the only success that day would be making a mess.

Xavier pulled me out of my dream.

He held my face in his hands, staring intently into my eyes. I shut them close and he said my name sternly. He always did this whenever I tried to hide anything from him. My eyes were a clear indication of my pain and my happiness. I opened my eyes and did my best to be happy. I thought of Rome– his smile, especially when directed at me, but nothing could fix this- nothing could fix me.

I broke in his hands.

I fell to the floor, yelling and screaming.

The kids ran out and Amara told them I was yelling with happiness and sent them into the kitchen as she passed Xavier a look I couldn’t de figure– I began to lose conscious.

Rome’s P.O.V

Days have passed and there is no sign of Adeline anywhere. I practically ran into H.R. this morning, and they told me they haven’t heard anything. I took her file and returned to my desk. Here I am.

At my desk staring into an abyss of thoughts.

I couldn’t tell how I was feeling.

Relived that her smile wouldn’t pull me from my work.
Scared- that she left.

I opened her file and saw her photo. I picked it up and stared at it.


I couldn’t let her go- not yet- not so easily. I scanned through her file and found all the information I could. Her address, phone number, family, friends, hometown and whatever could help.

Stop One- Her house

I rang the doorbell of the apartment complex and two pairs of teary eyes answered the door. They held a crumpled note in their hand, and there were files stacked on the table behind them.

I recognized the man from the coffee shop- the one with Ember.

The woman was presumably Ember’s best friend.

Before I opened my eyes to speak they handed me a note,

Dear Axel and Willow,

I can’t be here any longer- I apologize for all the trouble I’ve caused you two, but there is something very important for me to do. I won’t be coming back and I can’t stay here any longer. You both have and will always be a part of my family, but I am no longer the same person you have always known. I know you both will go far and in one way or another I will always be with you. I know this is unexpected and you are both surprised but this decision is for the best. Not only for me but for you all as well. We won’t meet again, and I can’t express my gratitude for all you have done for me. I love you both very much.

I’m sorry.


I couldn’t believe it. They invited me in and we sat around the stacked files.

“She has a habit of hiding her pain”, Willow said- breaking the deafening silence. The man who I assumed is named Axel passed me a file.

“We began going through all her stuff, she took most of the files, but this one came in this morning. She normally picks them up, but she didn’t show so they dropped it off” He said.

My heart stopped beating as I read the first few words…

Dear Ms Adeline Ember Jules,

After completing the last set of tests, we regret to inform you that the cancer has spread too far. There are still a few options of chemotherapy. I understand that you have decided against treatment, but we strongly encourage you to look into your options…

“This can’t be- she was, is in good health” I said my voice trembling.

“That’s what we thought, but the signs were there. The increases doses of coffee, lack of food, easily tiring out, fear of noises, and her sudden disconnection,” Willow said- her voice cracking.

“I love her,” I said.

“I don’t know how or when, but I know that the pain that’s running through my veins has never been there before. I am gonna get her I promise- we can save her right.” I said in hopes of some optimism- any reassurance that she was gonna live.

They exchanged looks and Axel spoke,

“The report made it clear she has possibly only a few days left and we have no idea where she is.”

I walked out of the complex and slid down the wall. I closed my eyes and for the first time in years I prayed.

If there is anyone out there, please help this. Help her, like she helped me. I just want to see her and tell her that I can save her- I can take the pain away. I can buy the best doctors world wide and have them help. Just please- please let me see her. Fix me by fixing her.

My eyes flooded with tears as I rolled up the medical reports in pure agony.

Please Don’t Say You Love Me:Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Rome’s P.O.V

I finally hit send on the keyboard. I took a sigh of relief, content that all the paperwork for the gala had been completed. For weeks the plans kept getting delayed, the designers and caterers were not seeing eye to eye. Whatever the case was, all of our company’s work is done.

I close my eyes resting my head against the top of the chair.

I wonder what Adeline would wear to the gala.

Something simple, but elegant.

Maybe something blue, no not blue. Something black? – no way, black is too dark for someone filled with so much light. I hope she wears something red, that’s her colour. Red says bold, confident and most importantly it exemplifies her presence. Adeline is here, and she is not going anywhere.

Adeline’s P.O.V

I sat in the living room. Patiently waiting for my brother. My niece and nephew were at daycare and wouldn’t be back until later that day, and my brother was at work.

My sister in law let me in, she was home- and when I asked her why she told me she had a doctors appointment, I asked if she was okay and it turns out shes perfect-
She’s pregnant.

How am I supposed to tell my big brother that I’m dieing, when he should be excited for the new light coming his way. He’s going to have another baby.
I’m going to be an aunt again- an aunt to a little one who I’ll never see- who I’ll never know.

I’m very close to my niece and nephew, I’m both of their godmothers and I babysit them all the time, I was there when they were born and now unfortunately I won’t get to see them grow up. I won’t get to see them be the amazing people I know them to be.

Sean- He’s four. He has brown curly hair and big brown eyes. He’s a trouble maker, but has a big heart. Every Halloween I take him trick or treating and when he comes home he puts his candy into a number of piles- one for each friend who couldn’t go trick or treating.

Maya- She’s two. The sassiest girl in the world- her personality is 10 times her size, she’s loud and funny and never leaves her brothers side. Her quirky personality always makes people laugh- it’s funny when you get served by a 2 year old.

I walk around the house, soaking in every moment from every picture- keeping in heart every memory and every emotion that’s encased in each photo. There’s a photo of me and my brother from my 4th birthday party- he’s smashing my hello kitty cake into my face. I laugh to myself as a tear goes down my face.

My sister in law- Amara- wipes my tear.

“I wish I was clueless to why you’re crying” she says.

“What do you mean?” I say.

She pulls out my diagnosis documentation, me eyes widen.

“You should really hide things better” she says.

“I thought the bottom of my bag was a good place” I say.

“Since when do we lie to family?” She says, a tear escaping her eye.

“Since when do we die on family?” I say, my voice scratching as the reality of my life flashes before my eyes. I’ve always wanted to make my family proud, wanting to be able to support them along the way and now I’ll be just a mere memory- one that fills them with remorse.

Amara hugs me tightly, the papers falling to the floor.

“I can’t tell him” I whisper.

“You have to” She says.

“You have a baby on the way, these next 7 months should be exciting and filled with impatience and joy, not the tension of when I’ll drop dead” I say.

“One loved one lost, and another gained. I don’t want to loose you- not now not ever, but you’re a grown up and I can understand why you’re doing what you’re doing. I support you, I want you to rest happy and fulfilled, however you can’t expect me to stay strong all the time. None of us can stay strong all the time- not when it comes to you. You are just like my sister- and I can’t bear the thought of loosing you, but I also can’t imagine forcing you to live a life you don’t want.” She says.

“I’m sorry” is all I can mumble.

“I love you Ady, I would just love it if you were rewarded for all the good you do” She says.

“I have been . I have you and Xavier, and your family” I say.

‘However, I can’t let my news ruin the news you have. I have already gotten my shot- now it’s your turn.” I say.

“I know your plans- you’re running away after this. You’re going to go hide in every corner of the world. You can’t just keep running from the scary stuff in life- you have to face it. No matter how hard you try Ember you can’t help everyone- it’s not the way the world works.” She says.

I walk away and face the window. Rain begins to fall.

It hits the glass fast, and slowly slides down into a puddle on the window sill. I can see myself in the rain- a face that I’m not familiar with- not anymore.

“When we lost mom and dad he held me together. I can’t bear the fact that my death will shake him like this.” I say.

“He raised you- he got to see what an amazing woman you turned out to be, that’s more than most get in a lifetime. He’ll understand that.” She says.

Just as Amara finishes in comes my family.

Maya and Sean grab my legs and start giggling. Xavier comes in holding their little backpacks- scolding them for running inside as they could fall. When he looks up and sees me- his face breaks out into the most beautiful smile.

“Hey big brother” I say, tilting my head slightly.

He wraps me in a big bear hug and I hug back just as tight.

“I missed you” He mutters.

“Not more than I missed you” I whisper.

In that moment I felt safe- like there was no problem. The world stopped and everything was perfect, I was with the people I loved and I was happy. I wasn’t ready for the world to come crashing down. Every story has a the end and I just didn’t expect mine to be so soon. The funny part is I haven’t even gotten to the hard part- breaking the news.

We pulled out of the hug and my niece and nephew wrapped their little arms around my neck. I closed my eyes and just relished in the moment. tears slipping down my eyes.

Then Xavier asked the million dollar question,

“Ady what’s wrong?”

Please Don’t Say You Love Me- Chapter 20 Part 2

For the entire story (Chapter 1-20) please click the Please Don’t Say You Love Me tab above. Thank you

Adeline’s P.O.V

Dear Diary,

I am no super human, I’m just me. I’ve spent my life just being myself, finding it too difficult to please the rest of the world.

I stopped believing that time exists, I trapped myself within the walls of today. I guess I forgot that no one promised me a tomorrow.  Happy in my bubble I avoided falling in love as the last time I realized I wasn’t.

Remember Dean?

Dean was simply breathtaking- he was talented, he taught me how to take photographs and how to find beauty in places the eyes couldn’t see.  I thought I loved Dean, but really I just loved the idea of a Dean. When Dean was given a project to photograph the lives of the Haitians he hesitated as he feared leaving me, but I wanted him to go.

Not just for him, but because I knew we weren’t gonna last. Dean was just a chapter of my life- a chapter designated in teaching me the true meaning of life. I loved Dean, but I was never in love with Dean, because I knew that I could live without him.

but this time I can’t pursue him, him as in the new chapter in my life.

I spent my whole life being healthy, doing my best to be strong and facing every adversity for a better tomorrow.

Now I won’t have a tomorrow, dear diary this is my biggest secret

one only shared between you and I.

I have cancer, in specific pancreatic cancer.

It spreads rapidly, and there was never a method for early detection. With how late I found out plus the damage my body has taken my chance of survival is 10%, but I brought it down to 0.

I’m not undergoing any treatment.

I don’t want to die as a mess of tubes, I want to die happily.

Near the ocean with wet sand at my feet and a ray of sunlight cascading down my body. I want to die feeling whole, not empty.

There’s this warm feeling at the sound of his voice, a light blush at the feel of his gaze, but a fallen tear at the knowledge that I can’t have this. I can’t have him, but it’s for the best- avoiding this feeling is for the best.

With Love,

I put away my diary, tucked away beneath my mattress. I sigh as I fold the medical papers and place them beneath my pillow.

I’m dying- how do I let them know?

Do I wait until my body is delivered to the morgue and phone calls are made, or do I tell them at dinner and ruin their happy lives?

There are many things I want to be in life, but a burden isn’t one of them.

I’m not a crier, nor am I weak- but I am scared. Not scared of death, but scared of the consequences of my death. I’m scared because I have less than a year to try and live out my dreams.

When my parents passed away I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. There were no noises around me, I refused to hear anyone- afraid to forget the sound of my fathers laugh or my mothers voice when she sings me to sleep. I didn’t leave my home- afraid of new memories replacing old ones. I wanted to remember my mothers smile and my fathers eyes. My world stopped turning, there was no day and night, just endless misery. I felt dead on the inside, and it took years to move on. They’re the ones who passed, but the ones who loved them suffered.

That day I told myself to never fall in love, and that day I stopped believing in love. I promised myself I would never fall in love and I intend on keeping that promise as I don’t want another life to die alongside mine.

As I glanced over to the clock I realized the time- it was 3am.

Knowing that I would regret this I decided to run- not run away from my problems-, but run away from the confrontation. I’d rather them see me as a horrible person, than suffer because they loved me.

I grabbed as much as I could fit into a carry-on suitcase and I snuck out. Prior to leaving I grabbed some stationary and began writing.

Dear Axel and Willow,

I can’t be here any longer- I apologize for all the trouble I’ve caused you two, but there is something very important for me to do. I won’t be coming back and I can’t stay here any longer. You both have and will always be a part of my family, but I am no longer the same person you have always known. I know you both will go far and in one way or another I will always be with you. I know this is unexpected and you are both surprised but this decision is for the best. Not only for me but for you all as well. We won’t meet again, and I can’t express my gratitude for all you have done for me. I love you both very much.

I’m sorry.


I grabbed a cab and went to the airport. As I stood and stared at the airport sign I thought of everything I wanted to do. Every country I wanted to visit and everything I wanted to experience, but before all that I had to go see someone- someone very special.

I turned around and walked to the closest car rental- I rented a red mini cooper and began driving. At the first gas station there was a pawn shop, so I decided to do something I have always wanted. I erased my phone and sold it. It sold for $300. In my last few months of life I want to be in total isolation from the rest of the world- no news, no people, no social media.

I just want to be one with the earth- be one with myself.

I continued driving all night and through the the morning.

10 hours later I was there…standing outside the house of the only person who ever truly knew me-

someone who I love more than words can describe.

I drove to see my big brother and his family, I’m going to see Xavier Jules for possibly the last time…

If Only She Knew

His eyes scanned over the large array of flowers.

Indecisive he picked up each one and checked for any visual imperfection. He looked and he looked but every flower seemed beautiful, the only question was which would she like best. He picked up a purple lily as he knew purple was her favorite color. After a few moments he realized he was at an impasse as he knew orchids were her favorite flower, however Jasmine was her favorite scent. Lost in the overwhelming display he picked up a bouquet of each.

One of purple lilies,

One of orchids, and

One of  Jasmines-whose smell reminded him of her perfume.

He headed to the counter to pay for the three bouquets, and the woman at the front recognized his face well. Every Sunday he would come in and spent hours choosing which flowers to get and always bought several speaking of how she loves flowers and anything less than perfect wasn’t acceptable. As he left the store with a small wave, whispering about how late he would be for her the woman thought she was a lucky woman because she had a man who knew her every want.

He headed off to meet her. He kept the bouquets upright next to him in his car, he put on the radio and switched it to 97.3 – her favorite station, and he knew they would be playing her favorite song.

He could imagine how she would tap her feet or sway her hips and he could even hear her sweet voice as she would sing along with her hair moving gently alongside the breeze. He was getting impatient as he couldn’t bare the distance between them. He was away a lot for work. Constant trips overseas to meet with new clients, so he knew every moment with his wife was important as he would be leaving soon again.

He arrived at his destination and saw that it was quiet and slow as usual. Many people there but no one to greet them. He passed all the eager people who waited for their loved ones until he arrived to meet her.

“Sorry I’m late” he said, as he placed all the flowers in front of her.

“now I know you said not to splurge on you but you only deserve the best” he said as he bent down to sit with her.

He scanned his eyes over the stone.

Re-reading the words on her tombstone.

He kept telling himself it wasn’t real but the harsh reality was too strong.

It has been 3 months.

The last time he saw her they were arguing. He was going overseas for 2 months and didn’t bother letting her know. He just always thought that she would be here when he got back. He assumed she was always going to be here, but he forgot she was human too. She was hurting and as she ran out of their home her humanity shone.

A little girl was about to be hit and she jumped in to save her, the little one lives but the one I needed – she died.

She lay lifeless against the pavement, her blood cold as it filled the streets, and then it began to rain. That’s the day his life changed.

He closed his eyes and lay alongside her grave and again it began to rain- the first rainfall since then and today his life changed again.

If only…

If only she knew how much he truly loved her, and she did.

She knew.

The Sterling House

I’m sick of it.

I’m sick of being boring, or at least boring to the world.

I have a mind of my own. I have plans – big ones and tonight I’ll prove it.

In 1816 the Sterling house was built and in 1818 they shut it down. Why, no one knows. There’s talk of suicidal servants and creaking floors, maybe the dead was knocking at their door. All that aside the Sterling house is forbidden.

No one guards it and the police don’t care. Kids roam around wanting to go in, but that place scares everyone.

Not me.

The town tried destroying it, but the bulldozers didn’t move. Even the torches couldn’t dent the house. It’s almost as if the house is indestructible.

Ever since I was young I saw glimpses of someone walking inside, but that never scared me. It only made me grow curious of what was inside. My nona uses to speak of how that house has family ties and how our secrets are sealed within its walls.

I’m adopted. My real parents are unknown and the ones who took me in are missing. They’ve been missing for years. No-one knows where they went and surprisingly no one seems to ask. But I know.

They’re in the house, they have to be. They have a lot of secrets and so does that house. A few nights ago I heard my mom’s voice and it was coming from the house. I walked towards the noise but my nona pulled me away. She knows something. They all do.

I put on my hood and walked towards the back entrance of the house. No-one knew there was a back, but behind all those bushes there’s a wooden door that leads right to the kitchen.

Getting inside was easy, but staying in would be hard.

The walls smell of fresh paint. Odd. How does an abandoned house smell new?

I turned on my flashlight and pointed it at the walls. I gasped. There was a girl on the wall, who looked just like me, but her eyes were dark and conniving. She wasn’t human. Her skin was pale and she stood right in front of the Sterling house.

I turned the image and it read,

Mia Sterling May 1816

She had my name.

I want to leave but I’m already too far in. I can’t leave all the answers. I moved to the next photo which was of my nona, but when she was younger. It dates March 1957.

How could a photo of the 20th century be here when this house closed off in 1818.  My nona isn’t bad I know that, but my parents aren’t innocent.

As I moved into the living room more photos of Mia were around the room. Photos of her when she was young right up until her youth. A newspaper sat on the coffee table. It read,

Mia Sterling dead. – body found floating in her bedroom. Her parents under police custody as prime suspects.

The page had images. Mia was in mid-air. Her back decimated and her eyes pure white. That wasn’t humanly possible.

Below were images of her parents who look exactly like mine. The same names, the same age and the same face. This is no coincidence.

Something sinister lives in this house.

I moved to the stairs that were pitch black, more images hung from the wall and in all of them the truth spoke. My parents were apart of something evil and they were doing whatever it takes to remain young.

There were photos from several years of them with a child. All the same face but at different ages. Yet again the same name.


The walls had images of Mia everywhere, and what scared me was that no one was over the age of 16.

What’s scarier is that I turn 16 in 10 minutes.  I was born on July 8th 2002 at 2:15 am.

I made my way to the top of the stairs. My heart pounded as I knew my chances of survival decreased. I made my way to the bedroom.

Instantly I recognized it as the one Mia had died in.

“you were always smart Mia” a voice spoke.

I jolted and turned around and there stood my parents and who I assume to be Mia Sterling.

I looked directly at my self. Everything about us was identical. Besides one thing. Our eyes. Mine are blue and hers were black, fully black. No light reflected and no depth. Just pitch black.

“we need your help. This is our real daughter. Only you can keep her alive. Your 16 years will give her life. We know we seem like monsters but only the life of her doppelgänger can keep her alive.” My father spoke.

“what keeps you alive?” I asked.

“you’re very wise. We feed” he said.

“you killed my parents” I said as a tear escaped my eye.

“not kill, sacrifice. Your nona wanted to keep you away but we knew your curiosity would bring you here to us” he spoke.

I knew running was useless. I walked over to Mia and stared into her lifeless eyes.

“what are you?” I asked

She smiled. “not human” she said. Her voice deep and raspy.

At that moment I knew that I had looked death into it’s eyes as I was now floating.

My back cracked and I hung mid-air and as I caught my final breath I read

Mia Navoa found dead in Sterling House. Floating in the middle of the upstairs bedroom. Back broken and missing eyes. Suspects unknown.

And with that my eyes whitened and I became another photo on the wall of the Sterling house.

The image appears on the wall, reading…

Mia 2018